jamius.com

A little while ago, someone sent me a message about how he was having a difficult time in life, and it got to the point where he was seriously considering suicide. Then he saw my videos, and decided that life was worth living.

It was more detailed, but that was the basic gist.

Talk about humbling. Any self centered ideas of embarrassment about putting myself on display seemed so stupid at that moment. It reminds me of when I felt like dying. I didn't fit into this world, and didn't see a point in living in it. It didn't seem right to just end it, though. I figured if I'm prepared to die, than I have nothing to lose. ...and I do have nothing to lose. Yes, I felt that dying was a better fate than doing what I was told, but there is something so much better. The threats of conformity mean nothing to a person who is on the edge of life. ....prepared to die. I decided that I'd take a path that many said would be suicide, and that if I were to go out, I'd go out fighting. This is what I must remember when I feel pressure to conform. ....to not say or do certain things because someone might disapprove.

I will create my own rules. Cultural, peer, and family pressure won't rule me. I'm honor bound to do what I think is right. I'm bound to the me that almost died, and instead lived so that I may be here. Slowing down because I'm doing "pretty well" is unacceptable.

Thank you to everyone who reminds me of this, and thank you to the suicidal me for facing the storm. ...and I will do my best to be courageous to the end. Edit that. I WILL BE courageous to the end. There is no try.

Jaimie

Jaimie that's great that you can affect people so much. I'm sorry I have nothing else to add to this thread, but that's amazing.

You really do inspire a lot of us to do better with our lives, and to get up and get out there.

Great post, Jaimie. I have dealt with similar issues and have a friend dealing with stuff like that now.

I learned a lot by studying psychology, primarily along the lines of a guy named Alfred Adler and later on Choice Theory by William Glassier.

Just like in your case, our problems are within us. We find excuses to blame others, but it is really what we choose to do and not do that causes us to be happy or unhappy. For you, it seems that you made yourself unhappy trying to conform to the expectations of others.

Adler wrote that the meaning of life is contribution. Basically we are social by nature and all we really have that will last is our contribution to society and by contributing to society, we find happiness in ourselves.

What drives my life is the Serenity Prayer.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

People get caught up in trying to change things they cannot. You find peace when you learn to change the things that you can.

It is actually one of the things I admire about your videos. There are plenty of people that would have quit on things where you continued. For instance, you seem to find a way to do things alone that many would say I need to wait until I can get some help to do this or that.

We limit what we do by not recognizing what we can and cannot do. You can't cut a road through the woods by yourself. That's crazy. It's impossible. Actually, it is only impossible if you tell yourself it is impossible.

A recent post from my friend having troubles was that she gives up. My advice? Look to what you can do and don't focus on what you can't. Today she had a new attitude and it improved my attitude too. She realized she could get a second job and make enough money to change her situation. No, it isn't what she would have liked to have done, but it was a way to get where she wants to be.

So yea, you can make your own road through the woods if you don't just quit. We choose whether we succeed or fail. We determine if we are happy or sad. If you aren't where you want to be, head in that direction. If you don't quit, you will eventually get there. Along the way it helps to not put undue stress on yourself by focusing on what you can't do. Eventually the road gets built.

I can totally relate to "hitting the bottom" and realizing it frees you to do ANYTHING with your life! It can end up being incredibly freeing.

In the early 90's I had a series of bad things happen to me. First a manipulative and abusive girlfriend basically bankrupted me crushed me psychologically. I ended up having to work two jobs for about a year to get out of debts she created; from midnight to 8am at one job and then 8am to 6pm at another. After getting out from under that, I attempted to move closer to my parents and siblings so that I could see them more, and ended up without employment. So I was basically very sad, broke, and starting from zero. I remember sitting on the floor of my apartment -- that I had to move out of -- with boxes all around and just holding my head in my hands. Then I reached into a nearby box and grabbed an atlas.

I thought: I have tried to live here, and have basically proven to my family that there are no jobs no matter how hard I try. I have no girlfriend. At this point I can go anywhere and do anything I want. I can build my life as I want without anything holding me back. I opened the atlas and paged through. I got to Silicon Valley in California and put my finger on the page (I'm a computer geek -- and that's geek central). I got rid of most of my stuff and packed what was left in my beat up station wagon, and left the midwest the next week. 4 days later I was on the West Coast.

I drove around and found San Francisco, which I fell in love with. I just loved the fact that I could meet people from 10 different countries in one day. Also, I felt like people treated everyone equally...no matter where you are from or who you are.

I found a job within a month (just a lot of knocking on doors and interviews). My first apartment was just renting the living room of a place with a bunch of guys. It was good though, as it was cheap and I wasn't sleeping in my car. Every day when I wasn't working I got to explore interesting places and meet new people.

Five years later I had my own business and was married to my best friend -- she is awesome. Five years after that our daughter was born, and I finally understood just how happy I could be. Today our daughter is 4 years old.

My only regret throughout everything is that I didn't think far enough outside the box. Just moving to a new place and reinventing yourself is one thing...but what Jaimie has done goes so far beyond that. We need to think outside the box of normal "careers" and what Western culture tells us is "success". It's not just important for our own sanity and happiness...but for what we leave behind for our children and future generations. So much of what we have been force fed since birth by our culture is just plain wrong.

I know I've said this before; but thanks for all you do to inspire us, Jaimie. I know it's a lot of work doing all the videos. So many people around the world benefit from the positive attitude and model of living that you provide!

WOW MK! That's a very inspiring story.

I'm also at a bit of a crossroads right now. I'm 23, graduated college a year ago, and only working a temporary job right now because there are no good chemistry jobs around. I sill live at home , but that's changing. My family is moving to eastern PA and I'm not going with them. It's a perfect time for me to move out and be on my own. Honestly, I'm free to move wherever I want! It's such a great feeling. I was thinking of moving west, but I'm also debating going back to school (not next year, but the following). So where I move highly depends on where I go to school.

If I move to a place with cheap land I'm honestly considering building myself a house. My family is made up of uncles that own construction companies. I've worked with them before building houses, and it's not hard. But I'm off topic.

Sometimes I feel alone. Sometimes I wonder if I'll make it. I've never contemplated suicide though. I'm much too happy of a person (even when I'm alone) to ever even think about it. I LOVE living, and we only have one life to live. The only thing that ever gets me down is the thought that I'll never DO anything in life. I'll just go to work, 9-5, come home and my life will be for nothing. THAT'S why I want to go back to school. I want to learn what I can to be involved in cutting edge technology. I want to contribute my knowledge and problem solving skills to the world. Even if I don't find anything in research, even if I don't make a big breakthrough, I'll still feel accomplished because my work will eventually lead to something. Even if my work is taken as the "wrong path", it still helps in that direction. Everyone has to have a goal. Progressing toward that goal keeps people happy. Even if that goal is to get up and cut the grass tomorrow. You'll feel great once you've done it.

From watching Jaimie's videos, he also wants to make a difference. He wants to get kids up and active and learning about robots and building. I mean look at his adventures club. (I think that's what it is.) Everyone wants to make a difference, and I think people get depressed when they realize that they may not be able to. When they are stuck in job they can't leave. They get depressed because they don't have control over the things in their life. But like somebody said above. You MUST focus on what you CAN do. Like for me, I can't change the world right now. But what I can do is research programs and maybe move to where I'd like to go to school. I can take the required tests and get everything ready.

So, I know I don't have firsthand experience with depression or thoughts of suicide, but I've always felt that an optimistic view of things is just easier. Even when things get hard and look like they have no hope, I always look at the light at the end of the tunnel. Even if that light is "Eventually I'll get out of this". That's good enough for me.

I have myself contemplated suicide recently. The only reason i haven't is because i have so much i want to achieve in my life before its my natural time to go. I find this subject hard to talk about because for whatever reason i find it hard to communicate to people about it. The stories that i have read here only support my decision not to. The people on this thread surely understand either through personal or second experience.

So I'm going to set myself goals in my life that i wish to complete,

1) Start my Martial Arts gym
2) Move back to England
3) Ask the woman of my dreams to marry me.

There will be more but i don't think ill add them here. These will do for now.

RedhairedDood wrote:I have myself contemplated suicide recently. The only reason i haven't is because i have so much i want to achieve in my life before its my natural time to go.

That's the thing that always hit me when I was down also. Your circumstances can be pretty bad at a point in time, but LIFE is AWESOME! If you end the "dark you" this year, you are also ending the "amazing you" that will do so many things for many years to come. There are so many experiences out there, and I can't imagine missing out on all that. In fact; I wish I had many lives to live so that I could dedicate decades to music or art or whatever inspired me.

The thing I've found -- that's great about sharing these dark thoughts -- is that you find that so many others have gone through the same thing. Also, the rough parts of life are hard to see beyond, but they tend to make us stronger and be stepping stones to much brighter times.

In effect, the projects people mention here are good to combat depressive feelings. Focusing on the wrong things, things you can't control, contributes greatly to depression. That is where projects like these come into play. They get your mind working on something you can control.

The other thing to remember is to do small projects. Big projects should be just a series of small projects. Don't try to go out this weekend and build a giant robot or a huge bio-dome home. Set attainable goals, plan/research what you are gong to do, and learn from what others have done.

Actually everything Jaimie does seems to be good for fighting depression, because he also seems to like to torture himself physically, and exercise is another thing to do to combat depression.

sjvsworldtour wrote:Actually everything Jaimie does seems to be good for fighting depression, because he also seems to like to torture himself physically, and exercise is another thing to do to combat depression.

Exercise SCIENTIFICALLY fights depression. It releases GOOD FEELY stuff (<- Jaimie words), inside your brain making you happy! You may be sore, but you'll be happy! I'm a runner. When I'm actually training and running I don't ever get down. When I stop running, every once in while I reach a "low" point. Exercise gives you time to clear your mind. It's great. Plus you'll be happy cause you'll be looking good too!

Sorry, just wanted to leave that out there.

I wish there were like buttons on BB.